Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink. Today, we are going to learn how to get a girlfriend in 7 steps. Now, let’s begin. Assess Your Readiness Getting a girlfriend isn’t easy, but it’s not as complicated as many people say. You don’t need to reinvent yourself to earn the attention of someone you like. You don’t need to play tricks or use complicated strategies.
Most of the time, the secret to getting a girlfriend… is simply changing your attitude. But before you change anything, ask yourself a few important questions. Many guys want girlfriends. You may like the idea of finding a partner, but you may not be ready for a relationship. You may struggle to get attention from women, because you’ve got work to do on yourself. Here’s the problem. You may think your life won’t be complete unless you’re dating an attractive girl. In your mind, a relationship may feel like the most important thing in the world. So you put women on a pedestal. And you convince yourself that you’re not worthy or deserving of their attention. Girls may think you’re desperate, needy, or insecure. But the truth is… you don’t have faith in yourself and it shows. The reason you’re getting attention… is because you haven’t accepted yourself. You aren’t happy being single, so you’re using a relationship to fill an emotional void in your life. No woman wants to fill a void for you.
Women want to be with someone who likes themselves. Someone who feels confident in their relationship status, no matter what it is. Women are attracted to men who feel secure in their own skin. Before you make any moves or ask anyone out, do a self-assessment. Are you happy being single? Are you happy with the person you are? If the answer is no, a relationship may not be the best thing for you.
Instead, take some time to shore up your weaknesses. Work on your career. Expand your horizons. Get out of your comfort zone and build the kind of confidence women find so attractive. Once you feel secure about who you are… then you can start looking for that special someone. Rewrite Your Narrative Let’s say you’re happy with who you are. That’s already a major step in the right direction. But, even if you like yourself, there’s no guarantee you’ll make good impressions on the women you meet. Most of the time, men approach women with the wrong mindset. Many guys sabotage their chances long before they start up a conversation. You may believe that no girl will be attracted to you. And that self-deprecating narrative stops you from approaching people you’re interested in. Stop telling yourself that you’re not good enough. Our society encourages men and women to judge each other. For example, people might say “why is she with him? She’s an 8, while he’s only a 4.” We convince ourselves that physical attraction defines who we are, and aren’t, worthy of dating. But looks are just one aspect of attraction.
Yes, physical appeal is important, but an attractive personality completely changes the way women perceive you. If you can rewrite your narrative, you can approach any woman like you deserve her attention. Because you do. If you believe in yourself, and show off your personality, almost any girl will give you the time of day. So let’s do a little exercise. Think about a narrative you might tell yourself. You might say, “There’s no way she wants to talk to me,” or “She’s way out of my league.” In your mind, these are reasons not to approach someone you like, right? But they’re not reasons at all. They’re excuses. You’re assuming that you aren’t good enough to get her attention. So you make these excuses to save yourself from getting hurt. Let’s turn those self-deprecating statements around. Instead of saying, “She’s way out of my league,” tell yourself, “she looks like someone I want to get to know.” Instead of saying, “there’s no way she wants to talk to me,” think to yourself, “Why do I want to talk to her?” By turning these statements around, you give yourself the power to make decisions.
Your preferences matter just as much as hers. You’re both equal parts of any relationship. So don’t sell yourself short. Rewrite your narrative and use your newfound confidence… to win her over. Unravel Expectations This may be the most important thing we cover in this video. So many guys are desperate for attention. They care way too much about what women think about them. Because they enter every conversation with huge expectations. You might think to yourself, “this could be the girl I end up dating” or “this could be the person I fall in love with.” While it’s a romantic concept, those expectations are driving women away. Guys who are successful with women learn to stop caring. They don’t talk to girls thinking every conversation is going to get them closer to a relationship. They’re much more confident and comfortable around women, because they don’t have any expectations.
It takes time to get rid of your expectations. It’s an irritating habit that pops up whether you like it or not. So remind yourself that every conversation is just a conversation, no matter who you’re talking to. Most conversations aren’t going to change your life. More often than not, when you’re talking to a girl, nothing will happen. You may not have chemistry.
The timing might be wrong. Or maybe neither of you are interested. But that’s okay. When you stop expecting every interaction to change your life, you remove a mountain of unnecessary pressure off your shoulders. So care a little less. Get rid of your expectations and stop putting pressure on yourself. Learn to let go and be comfortable, because that’s exactly what women want to see. Approach with Confidence Now that you’ve gotten rid of your expectations, let’s talk about making your move. When you approach a woman, you need to get off on the right foot. First impressions are incredibly important. Many girls make up their minds very quickly about the guys they meet, so your approach is critical. That may sound like a lot of pressure, but there’s a big silver lining.
It’s not nearly as difficult to make a good first impression as many guys think. The hardest part of approaching a woman… is overcoming your own fear. As you’re standing on the sidelines, you may feel terrified. You may think about all the things that could go wrong. So you make excuses to explain why you haven’t made your move yet. But the worst thing she can tell you… is no. That’s it. She’s not interested, so you politely walk away. You may be imagining a complete disaster, but the stakes aren’t that high. So you have nothing to be afraid of. Once you overcome this huge hurdle, the rest is easy. Be yourself. Be confident and keep it simple. Introduce yourself. Make a joke if you’re feeling funny. And, most importantly, try to have fun. Because if you’re not enjoying yourself, neither will she. Active Listening As the conversation deepens, you may run into a few common roadblocks.
Many guys, for example, spend the whole conversation talking about themselves. They tell dozens of their own stories. They interrupt people while they’re talking. You get so wrapped in what you have to say… you stop paying attention to anyone else. Guys who find success with women are active listeners. They don’t just shut up and listen. They stay engaged at every point in the conversation. When she’s talking, they try to understand her perspective. And they ask good questions, because they genuinely want to know more. Girls want you to care about what they have to say. Because you want the same thing from her, right? Be an active listener. Pay attention and, when in doubt, stop talking about yourself. Decisive Initiation After you’ve gotten to know each other, there comes a point when you have to make a decision. Are you interested in her? If the answer is no, it’s time to walk away. If the answer is yes, you need to make your interest clear.
There are plenty of different ways to show interest. You could ask her on a date. Or ask for her number. You could make a move, or just tell her that you’re having a good time. But whatever you do… be decisive. If you ask for her number, don’t assume she’s going to turn you down. Don’t say things like, “Would it be okay if I got your number?” Women want you to be decisive. They want you to take action. So tell her exactly what you want. Even if your plans end up changing, girls like guys who are confident enough to take the initiative. The Power of Respect You’ve probably heard tips like this one before. People say you should always be respectful of every girl you meet. But what does respect look like? For some guys, respect means good manners. It’s opening doors and paying for meals. These formal gestures show her that you’re serious about her as an individual, not just some guy looking for a girlfriend. That’s ultimately what respect boils down to. A woman wants to know that you value her specifically. In other words, she wants to be both treasured and taken seriously.